PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
