I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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