she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
