Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
