After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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