Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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