You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
