so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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