Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize