he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just google imaged poop.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
