I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
