her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
