I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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