He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
