Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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