Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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