if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
