I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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