i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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