and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
