So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
