the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
