and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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