it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sober January is a disaster.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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