come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
