I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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