Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
