check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
