You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
