Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
