well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
