Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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