she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
