She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize