I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
