Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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