stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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