It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
