It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
try to milk me bitch
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
