I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
