I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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