Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
