my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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