What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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