then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
