I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
