Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
