I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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