She said her name was "party"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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