it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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