Tell her she can't have a vagina
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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