benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
