Christians are straight up FREAKS
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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