i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
