He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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