then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize