Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
